Q: After a difficult divorce, I remarried several years ago. At first my son got along OK with my new husband. But once my boy reached puberty, conflict flared into open hostility between them. I feel caught in the middle. Help!
Jim: We all know that adolescence often brings tension between a child and parents. But when you toss in the divided loyalties and confused roles that tend to happen in stepfamilies, the process becomes much more complicated.
Instead of framing this as an “either-or” situation, I suggest you approach it as a “both-and.” In other words, don’t take sides. Avoid thinking in terms of “choosing” between your husband and your son, but try to rise above the conflict and help them each see things from the other’s perspective.