Friday, March 29, 2024 at 2:52 AM
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The barriers to disclosure for children

“My child would tell me if that happened.” This is what I hear from most parents. In reality, they would not.

“My child would tell me if that happened.” This is what I hear from most parents. In reality, they would not. And for those more statistically driven, it is estimated that between 1 in 4 and 1 in 10 children will become victims of sexual abuse before turning 18 years old. One study estimates 73% of children do not disclose sexual abuse for at least one year, 45% do not tell anyone for five years, and others never disclose at all. Even when there is corroborative evidence abuse has occurred – medical evidence, abuser confessions, video evidence, or eyewitnesses – up to 43% of children aren’t willing to disclose abuse ever happened. As parents, the first thing we need to understand is children rarely, if ever, disclose sexual abuse immediately. You cannot look at disclosure as an event. It is a process with many steps that can span decades. To understand the delay, you have to understand the influences at play.

Sexual predators are master manipulators. Most sexual abusers use some form of grooming. This grooming is behavior or tactics the perpetrator uses in preparation of committing the abuse. The purpose of grooming is, of course, to avoid detection.

Grooming can involve psychological manipulation so the child feels responsible for the abuse. The master manipulator will have the child convinced it is their fault – the child made the perpetrator do these things. The way to combat this with your children is to make sure they understand it would never be their fault if someone touched them or if asked to expose themselves.

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