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Nanny knows best

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"Nanny State: A government with overprotective/interfering policies"

Flanked by sidekick "Judge Judy" Sheindlin, Democratic presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg, former mayor of the Socialist Republic of New York City, campaigned, Jan. 11, in San Antonio, the location of one of his 17 Texas field offices.

"Nanny Bloomers," so nicknamed, for his penchant of forcing his agenda into every crevice of citizens' lives, has thus far spent over $300 million of his own money on TV, radio and digital advertising, including $10 million for a 60-second gun-control oriented Super Bowl ad.

He has less than a 1 percent chance of winning the Texas Democratic primary and 9 percent national support among Democrats. However, his mission is to paint Texas deep blue and cause political indigestion. With a net worth of $60 billion, this is chump change for Nanny.

Founder of "Everytown for Gun Safety," he has bragged about bullying the NRA and other gun-rights groups. He criticized Jack Wilson, who neutralized the shooter at the White Settlement church, last December, thus preventing more deaths.

"It's the job of law enforcement to have guns and decide when to shoot," Nanny said.

According to him, private citizens have no Second Amendment rights. Nanny Bloomers, though, has a large contingent of armed private bodyguards who accompany him everywhere - including to his Bermuda home. He received special permission from the Bermuda government to allow his personal army to carry weapons. Nanny, a licensed pilot, frequently flies his $30 million

Nanny, a licensed pilot, frequently flies his $30 million Dassault Falcon

to his Bermuda retreat. Each flight generates 37 times more carbon emissions than one commercial flight. He also owns a $45 million Agusta Spa 109S helicopter.

On terra firma, he drives a high-performance Audi R8, and has a chauffer-driven Chevy Suburban SUV, each of which gets an average 15 MPG. But for the hoi polloi, who continually receive his lectures on carbon emissions and climate control, he would mandate mass transit, ride sharing and tiny electric vehicles.

Can't afford an electric teacup to zip you around? Nanny has a great proposal: "Clean Cars For All" -- cash payments to lower income people to "transition" old vehicles to electric ones or vouchers for other forms of transit. Charging stations will proliferate.

He has a corollary plan for trading in old, energy-inefficient home appliances for "pollution free" ones. Does this sound like Obama's "Cash for Clunkers," which cost $3 billion, allegedly to save taxpayers $375 million. Nanny offers no estimated price tag for the great trade-in.

He calls for investment in public transit and high-speed rail systems to "quadruple clean energy R&D to $250 billion over 10 years." New buildings will be "zero carbon" by 2025.

Nanny Bloomers' schemes grow like kudzu. In 2007, as Mayor of New York City, benevolent Nanny established an experimental program, "Opportunities NYC." The educational component paid cash incentives: $25 for a parent to attend a PTA meeting; $200 for taking a child to a doctor visit; $25 to $50 for "good attendance" at school. The work component paid $300 to $600 for parents to attend training courses. This was criticized for rewarding normal parental duties -- 1,400 families participated, to the tune of $740,000.

The results were marginal. School attendance increased by less than 15 percent; dental visits by 10 percent; a mere 3 percent participated in the training. "Opportunities NYC" folded in 2010.

The 2012 scheme to ban sugary drinks over 16 ounces fizzled in NY State's Appeals Court, but the seeds Nanny planted and generously financed, sprouted: soda taxes were implemented in Berkeley, California, in 2014, and Mexico in 2016.

He supports high regressive taxes. They force people to modify their behavior and live longer. Nanny credited his policies for increasing New Yorkers' life expectancy from 78.7 to 80.9 years.

The 2003 "THRU Streets Program" created "pedestrian plazas," off limits to traffic, imposed a "road diet" by forging bike lanes and banned turns on most midtown streets, compounding congestion and gridlock. Cycling through Manhattan is a suicide mission, as I can attest.

Nanny orchestrated the traffic problem, then concocted a solution: vehicle congestion pricing. This proposal was defeated in 2007, but another weed-seed from Nanny's garden germinated: New York State's left-of-center Governor Andrew Cuomo budgeted for its 2021 implementation.

He champions California as a "model for the US and great example for the country" and wishes to export, to the other 49 states, the Golden State's miasma of climate control, criminal justice reform, gun control and homelessness.

The only nannies welcome in the Lone Star State are goats.

Mary Himlin is president of the Kendall County Republican Club.