October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month
A domestic-abuse survivor’s stark message –– “I loved someone who hurt me” — not only stirred a crowd in front of the Kendall County Courthouse but also offered a promise of hope through strength.
Alexandria — who asked that only her first name be used — spoke during the Oct. 10 National Domestic Violence Awareness Month walk.
“I was scared. I was hurt. I was exhausted. But I knew one thing, I had enough. I chose to fight,” said the 30-year-old mother of three, who left an abusive relationship two years ago.
“Today, I want every woman standing here to know, you are allowed to fight for your life,” Alexandria said. “You are allowed to fight for your peace. You are allowed to fight for your children. You are allowed to choose yourself.”
According to law enforcement agencies, about half of female homicide victims in the United States are killed
“I want us to remember the women who are still living in fear.”
— Alexandria, survivor of domestic abuse by current or former intimate partners.
An estimated one-third of women in the U.S. will experience domestic in their lifetimes, Kendall County Judge Shane Stolarczyk said, reading a proclamation declaring October as National Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.
Kendall County District Attorney Nicole Bishop spoke about the strength it takes to report an abuser.
“The first step is coming forward and reporting it,” Bishop said. “It’s so important to have that message in the community ... to do what we need to do to support the victims in the process, because it really is something that will stay with someone forever.”
Vi c t ims sometimes decline to make a report because the abuser is a fellow parent and a breadwinner, often representing a financial resource, according to those who investigate such crimes.
Bishop praised the 50-60 people who turned out for the walk.
“When it’s in the shadows, we can’t do anything about it. Shedding light on it and bringing it to the forefront is so important,” she added.
Boerne Police Chief Steve Perez said domestic violence situations are among the toughest calls officers answer.
“And it’s not just emotions for both the actor and the victims, but ... the hardest part is the kids, seeing the issues that are going on, and seeing the kids’ faces, of mom and dad fighting,” the chief said.
Alexandria said she took her children and fled “before it was too late.”
“Today I want us to remember those who didn’t get the chance to walk away and lost their lives due to domestic violence. I want us to remember the women who are still living in fear,” she said. “And I want us to remember the children who are growing up watching and wondering if this is what love looks like.”
Perez praised Alexandria for doing what she did, when she did it.
“I know it’s tough. I know it takes a while to come forward,” the chief said. “It takes, on average, seven times for a domestic violence victim to come forward and finally tell their story.”
Alexandria offered encouragement to women locked in abusive situations, whether it be physical, emotional sexual, social or financial.
“I stayed because leaving isn’t always as simple as people make it sound,” she said. “If you are still there today ... I want you to leave here knowing that you deserve help. You deserve to live.”
While most abuse victims are female, men can also be targeted but those instances are much fewer, investigators have said.
The walk, which began at 8:30 a.m. on the courthouse lawn, continued along the Hill Country Mile through downtown. The community was urged to come together to raise awareness, support survivors and take a stance against domestic violence.
Officials said hosts included the Kendall County District Attorney’s Victim Services Division, the Kendall County Women’s Shelter, Hill Country Family Services and Transformation House.
Those seeking support in an abusive situation can call the Women’s Shelter 24-hour hotline at 800-4958078, officials said.
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