Q: What’s the balance – or difference – between forgiveness and reconciliation in a case of marital infidelity? A year ago, I discovered that my husband had resumed a previous long-term emotional affair with a friend of mine. Their relationship has ended now, and I believe I’ve forgiven him. But I’m still having a hard time trusting or feeling any affection for him.
Jim: My heart goes out to you and the deep hurt you’ve experienced. There are, in fact, some very significant distinctions between forgiveness and reconciliation. For example, forgiveness is an individual decision, while reconciliation is a joint venture.
Forgiveness is a vital element in the larger process of reconciliation; without true forgiveness there can be no reconciliation. But a person can forgive without necessarily being reconciled. Much depends on the other individual’s response.
