Q: I’m concerned about how our daughter treats her husband. Most of the time she is disrespectful and mean to him. He’s a good, kind man but somewhat passive, so he just takes it from her. This situation upsets our entire family – how should I approach it?
Jim: This is a delicate scenario that will require careful thought – and quite likely some professional counsel. In considering your response, it’s important to view your daughter not as your child but as an adult peer. I’d also suggest you try to look at her and her husband as if they weren’t related to you. By taking this perspective, you’ll be less likely to inappropriately inject yourself into their relationship.
If you think your daughter would be open to hearing your concerns, talk to her about your feelings. Again, it’s critical that you approach the conversation as a caring friend and not a condemning parent. Share your thoughts about the importance of mutual respect in marriage as a general concept. If your daughter responds positively, you can discuss the problem further and offer ways you might be of encouragement and help.
